The First Outing
Today Baby Joey and I had a boys-only outing for the first time. After a long week of caring for an oft-cranky child, mommy (Eve) needed some alone time. So as she enjoyed some fufu (foofoo?) from Starbucks while shopping, Joey and I made our way over to Costco and Winco. What a blast! What a load of work! It's amazing how much time, effort, and energy are needed to do something as seemingly simple as heading across the street to Costco for a new canister of baby formula. Nonetheless, we managed. In fact, we more than managed - we succeeded with moderate ease. Joey was a champ...especially in light of daddy bumping his noggin on the way out of the car both times [oops]. Anyway, this was actually a really special thing for me. The nature of my job requires much of time, often in the form of evenings away from home, and I don't get to spend as much time with baby Joey as I'd like to. Simple as it was, today was special. Just me and my precious little boy.
Beautiful Sorrow
I've been thinking about this passage a lot lately, about how it shows Jesus' humanity in his pain, his loneliness, his sorrow, that he did not want to die but did want the will of God to the point of death. How beautiful. How sad. It made me cry as I read it tonight.
Matthew 26:36-46
36 Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, "Sit here while I go over there and pray."37 He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled.38 Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me."
39 Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will."
40 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. "Couldn't you men keep watch with me for one hour?" he asked Peter.41 "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."
42 He went away a second time and prayed, "My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done."
43 When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy.44 So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.
45 Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, "Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners.46 Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!"
The Holy Bible, NIV 2011
Sidenote:
This passage also makes me think about how often we rely on our feelings to guide us, to prove whether the direction we are moving is God's will or our own. If we have a bad feeling (anxiety, doubt, fear) then we assume we're headed in the wrong direction because those types of feelings aren't from God. It's generally true, that God offers peace and not anxiety. But all too often we fail to realize that those feelings are a reaction of the flesh. And that our flesh reacts negatively, yes, even to God. Even in the face of his will for our lives. As it did with Jesus in the garden.
Matthew 26:36-46
36 Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, "Sit here while I go over there and pray."37 He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled.38 Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me."
39 Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will."
40 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. "Couldn't you men keep watch with me for one hour?" he asked Peter.41 "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."
42 He went away a second time and prayed, "My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done."
43 When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy.44 So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.
45 Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, "Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners.46 Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!"
The Holy Bible, NIV 2011
Sidenote:
This passage also makes me think about how often we rely on our feelings to guide us, to prove whether the direction we are moving is God's will or our own. If we have a bad feeling (anxiety, doubt, fear) then we assume we're headed in the wrong direction because those types of feelings aren't from God. It's generally true, that God offers peace and not anxiety. But all too often we fail to realize that those feelings are a reaction of the flesh. And that our flesh reacts negatively, yes, even to God. Even in the face of his will for our lives. As it did with Jesus in the garden.
Lenten Prayer
Yesterday was Ash Wednesday, the kickoff to the Lenten season. It's a time to consider the life I lead, my relationship with God, and the life of Jesus including his teachings and sacrifices and crucifixion. As a means of practicing active, focussed devotion during this time, I've chosen to sacrifice something that causes significant distraction from all things, relationship with God being the most important. For the 44 days of Lent, I'll go without the television.
I've never given up TV before. It should be pretty easy to give up, right? It's not important. I've gone a day or two without watching TV and not even noticed. Haven't I? TV watching is something about which we hear research statistics and theories that tell us our brains are rotting, our relationships are failing, and our debts are climbing all while our televisions are getting bigger and fancier, cable and satellite channels more expensive and God sits outside our homes waiting for an invitation to come inside. I am guilty of this. My husband recently made this statement while we discussed our Lenten sacrifice: "We are going to have a hard time explaining to God someday all the days we watched hours of television but didn't spend any time reading the Bible or in genuine prayer." Hmmm. I think he's right. I have a hard time explaining it now. (Genuine prayer opposed to "Magic Genie" prayer or "gimme" prayer such as "please, God, give me health, give me blessings, give me protection while I speed to work/school/church and let there be a parking spot, in Jesus' name, amen.")
Yesterday was my first day without TV. It was also the day Josiah got his 6 month vaccinations. It was a rough day for the both of us. The injections left him sore which made him cry a lot and all day he wanted to be held. By me. Caring for a fussy baby in pain is exhausting mentally and emotionally. And there that TV sat, my pseudo-companion, whispering to me, "I can entertain you, help you relax, distract the baby from crying." Funny thing is, I never heard God whispering to me during that difficult day. I've tuned my ear to hear the temptations of wasted time, of mind numbing entertainment, of anything that promises to make my day easier. But its been so long since I tuned my ear to hear my true companion, the one who loves me, the one who can actually make my day bearable, happy even. The one who can strengthen me instead of deaden me. Enrich the time I spend with my son instead of drain it of any value or enjoyment.
I didn't watch TV yesterday. I haven't watched it today. I don't want it. I want God.
What is your pseudo-companion?
-Eve
I've never given up TV before. It should be pretty easy to give up, right? It's not important. I've gone a day or two without watching TV and not even noticed. Haven't I? TV watching is something about which we hear research statistics and theories that tell us our brains are rotting, our relationships are failing, and our debts are climbing all while our televisions are getting bigger and fancier, cable and satellite channels more expensive and God sits outside our homes waiting for an invitation to come inside. I am guilty of this. My husband recently made this statement while we discussed our Lenten sacrifice: "We are going to have a hard time explaining to God someday all the days we watched hours of television but didn't spend any time reading the Bible or in genuine prayer." Hmmm. I think he's right. I have a hard time explaining it now. (Genuine prayer opposed to "Magic Genie" prayer or "gimme" prayer such as "please, God, give me health, give me blessings, give me protection while I speed to work/school/church and let there be a parking spot, in Jesus' name, amen.")
Yesterday was my first day without TV. It was also the day Josiah got his 6 month vaccinations. It was a rough day for the both of us. The injections left him sore which made him cry a lot and all day he wanted to be held. By me. Caring for a fussy baby in pain is exhausting mentally and emotionally. And there that TV sat, my pseudo-companion, whispering to me, "I can entertain you, help you relax, distract the baby from crying." Funny thing is, I never heard God whispering to me during that difficult day. I've tuned my ear to hear the temptations of wasted time, of mind numbing entertainment, of anything that promises to make my day easier. But its been so long since I tuned my ear to hear my true companion, the one who loves me, the one who can actually make my day bearable, happy even. The one who can strengthen me instead of deaden me. Enrich the time I spend with my son instead of drain it of any value or enjoyment.
I didn't watch TV yesterday. I haven't watched it today. I don't want it. I want God.
What is your pseudo-companion?
-Eve
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