What if we focus on giving God the desires of His heart instead of focusing on Him giving us the desires of our own hearts?
What if we stop rationalizing "I don't think God will be mad if I [own a ridiculously expensive car, use birth control, spend another hour online, don't go to church]" and start making decisions to fill God with joy?
What if we stop trying to live our lives our way asking God's blessing and start living like Jesus lived?
What if we stopped with all the excuses not to?
What if my TV is big enough, my car nice enough, my house big enough, my furnishings new enough? What if they're not and thats ok?
What if people think I'm nuts?
What if we saw Jesus in every homeless person along our journey? What if we saw him in every other person too?
What if we never retire?
What if we give away more than we can afford to give away?
What if we didn't have to be threatened with hell to desire heaven?
What if we could go to heaven without God being present? Would we still want it?
What if... I go to bed now? :)
Whats Happened To The Lovens?
Things I never thought we'd say...
"We should seriously consider living in community with other couples."
"We have too much stuff. Lets sell everything we own and give it to the poor."
"This might sound crazy, but maybe we should reconsider using birth control."
"Lets clear out our retirement fund. I don't think God intends for us to hoard his resources just so we can live cushy lives and not have to work anymore."
"I'd like to make it our goal to give away 50% of our income."
"I want to be a hippie. You know, if people are going to judge my lifestyle [which they are] I want them to label me a 'Jesus hippie.'"
"Lets make our own clothes." (Eve)
"I don't think so." (Jeff)
God is totally working through this whole Lent thing. Who'da thunk? :)
"We should seriously consider living in community with other couples."
"We have too much stuff. Lets sell everything we own and give it to the poor."
"This might sound crazy, but maybe we should reconsider using birth control."
"Lets clear out our retirement fund. I don't think God intends for us to hoard his resources just so we can live cushy lives and not have to work anymore."
"I'd like to make it our goal to give away 50% of our income."
"I want to be a hippie. You know, if people are going to judge my lifestyle [which they are] I want them to label me a 'Jesus hippie.'"
"Lets make our own clothes." (Eve)
"I don't think so." (Jeff)
God is totally working through this whole Lent thing. Who'da thunk? :)
My Eyes Had Grown Accustomed to the Dark
The winter cold has passed - and come again, then passed, then come, and again - and I open the curtains to look outside. Its bright. The sun is shining. My eyes struggle to adjust and it even hurts a little to look out. To look farther than my patio, than the parking lot just beyond, farther even than the tennis courts on that side of the lot. To the trees, the grass, the golf course. It takes longer than it ought for my eyes to focus and for a while its all just blurry.
I love the winter. The cold weather calls for cuddling. For burrowing. Donning long sleeves beneath knit sweaters below necks and chins swaddled in scarves, heads in hoods and tall boots pulled high over jeans, ducking beneath umbrellas barring raindrops. Dressed and layered and dressed and layered until it takes digging to find the person beneath the fashion. I love the winter. Fires in fireplaces. Blankets draped invitingly on couches. Books begging to be read. TV to be watched. Quiet to be had. Resting. Alone. I love the winter.
But its lonely. Wrapped beneath the layers, beneath the quiet, beneath the cold. Its dark. And the darkness grows comfortable. And after a while I don't even know the difference. Between the dark of winter and... anything else. Any other way.
I spend so much time inside in the winter. I see all day, all night the inside of my living room, my kitchen, my bedroom. I see all day the face of my child, the face of my dog. All night the face of my lover. I can walk these steps, I can speak these words without thought, without effort, without care because I repeat them throughout the winter. Then come again, then passed, then come, and again. I stay inside out of the cold, out of the rain, out of sight. Except for church on Sunday. And even that I can repeat empty because I've done it so many times, and again. And after a while I don't even know the difference. Between the empty and... any other way.
Sometimes its as if I don't know you but only of you. Its as if you've become unfamiliar. Estranged. I've thought of you. Many times I've thought of you. But thinking of you is not connecting to you. With you. Knowing. Its easy to think of you. To cast a glance in acknowledgment of you. To mumble a request for blessing my own dreams. My own plans. My own loves. Me.
But its lonely. Wrapped beneath the layers, beneath the quiet, beneath the cold. Its dark. And the darkness grows comfortable. And after a while I don't even know the difference. Between the darkness and... anything else. Any other way.
But now the winter cold has passed and as I open the curtains to look outside, I see that it is bright. The sun is shining. And though my eyes struggle to adjust and it hurts a little to look out, I know that you are there. And you are here. You've been here all along only I hadn't seen you because my eyes had grown accustomed to the dark. It takes longer than it ought for my eyes to focus and for a while its all just blurry. But you are here. And I can see the difference. Between the darkness, between the empty, between routine. Between the winter and the spring. And the difference is freedom. And its blinding. And its beautiful. And now I see.
I love the winter. The cold weather calls for cuddling. For burrowing. Donning long sleeves beneath knit sweaters below necks and chins swaddled in scarves, heads in hoods and tall boots pulled high over jeans, ducking beneath umbrellas barring raindrops. Dressed and layered and dressed and layered until it takes digging to find the person beneath the fashion. I love the winter. Fires in fireplaces. Blankets draped invitingly on couches. Books begging to be read. TV to be watched. Quiet to be had. Resting. Alone. I love the winter.
But its lonely. Wrapped beneath the layers, beneath the quiet, beneath the cold. Its dark. And the darkness grows comfortable. And after a while I don't even know the difference. Between the dark of winter and... anything else. Any other way.
I spend so much time inside in the winter. I see all day, all night the inside of my living room, my kitchen, my bedroom. I see all day the face of my child, the face of my dog. All night the face of my lover. I can walk these steps, I can speak these words without thought, without effort, without care because I repeat them throughout the winter. Then come again, then passed, then come, and again. I stay inside out of the cold, out of the rain, out of sight. Except for church on Sunday. And even that I can repeat empty because I've done it so many times, and again. And after a while I don't even know the difference. Between the empty and... any other way.
Sometimes its as if I don't know you but only of you. Its as if you've become unfamiliar. Estranged. I've thought of you. Many times I've thought of you. But thinking of you is not connecting to you. With you. Knowing. Its easy to think of you. To cast a glance in acknowledgment of you. To mumble a request for blessing my own dreams. My own plans. My own loves. Me.
But its lonely. Wrapped beneath the layers, beneath the quiet, beneath the cold. Its dark. And the darkness grows comfortable. And after a while I don't even know the difference. Between the darkness and... anything else. Any other way.
But now the winter cold has passed and as I open the curtains to look outside, I see that it is bright. The sun is shining. And though my eyes struggle to adjust and it hurts a little to look out, I know that you are there. And you are here. You've been here all along only I hadn't seen you because my eyes had grown accustomed to the dark. It takes longer than it ought for my eyes to focus and for a while its all just blurry. But you are here. And I can see the difference. Between the darkness, between the empty, between routine. Between the winter and the spring. And the difference is freedom. And its blinding. And its beautiful. And now I see.
The First Outing
Today Baby Joey and I had a boys-only outing for the first time. After a long week of caring for an oft-cranky child, mommy (Eve) needed some alone time. So as she enjoyed some fufu (foofoo?) from Starbucks while shopping, Joey and I made our way over to Costco and Winco. What a blast! What a load of work! It's amazing how much time, effort, and energy are needed to do something as seemingly simple as heading across the street to Costco for a new canister of baby formula. Nonetheless, we managed. In fact, we more than managed - we succeeded with moderate ease. Joey was a champ...especially in light of daddy bumping his noggin on the way out of the car both times [oops]. Anyway, this was actually a really special thing for me. The nature of my job requires much of time, often in the form of evenings away from home, and I don't get to spend as much time with baby Joey as I'd like to. Simple as it was, today was special. Just me and my precious little boy.
Beautiful Sorrow
I've been thinking about this passage a lot lately, about how it shows Jesus' humanity in his pain, his loneliness, his sorrow, that he did not want to die but did want the will of God to the point of death. How beautiful. How sad. It made me cry as I read it tonight.
Matthew 26:36-46
36 Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, "Sit here while I go over there and pray."37 He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled.38 Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me."
39 Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will."
40 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. "Couldn't you men keep watch with me for one hour?" he asked Peter.41 "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."
42 He went away a second time and prayed, "My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done."
43 When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy.44 So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.
45 Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, "Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners.46 Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!"
The Holy Bible, NIV 2011
Sidenote:
This passage also makes me think about how often we rely on our feelings to guide us, to prove whether the direction we are moving is God's will or our own. If we have a bad feeling (anxiety, doubt, fear) then we assume we're headed in the wrong direction because those types of feelings aren't from God. It's generally true, that God offers peace and not anxiety. But all too often we fail to realize that those feelings are a reaction of the flesh. And that our flesh reacts negatively, yes, even to God. Even in the face of his will for our lives. As it did with Jesus in the garden.
Matthew 26:36-46
36 Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, "Sit here while I go over there and pray."37 He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled.38 Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me."
39 Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will."
40 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. "Couldn't you men keep watch with me for one hour?" he asked Peter.41 "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."
42 He went away a second time and prayed, "My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done."
43 When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy.44 So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.
45 Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, "Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners.46 Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!"
The Holy Bible, NIV 2011
Sidenote:
This passage also makes me think about how often we rely on our feelings to guide us, to prove whether the direction we are moving is God's will or our own. If we have a bad feeling (anxiety, doubt, fear) then we assume we're headed in the wrong direction because those types of feelings aren't from God. It's generally true, that God offers peace and not anxiety. But all too often we fail to realize that those feelings are a reaction of the flesh. And that our flesh reacts negatively, yes, even to God. Even in the face of his will for our lives. As it did with Jesus in the garden.
Lenten Prayer
Yesterday was Ash Wednesday, the kickoff to the Lenten season. It's a time to consider the life I lead, my relationship with God, and the life of Jesus including his teachings and sacrifices and crucifixion. As a means of practicing active, focussed devotion during this time, I've chosen to sacrifice something that causes significant distraction from all things, relationship with God being the most important. For the 44 days of Lent, I'll go without the television.
I've never given up TV before. It should be pretty easy to give up, right? It's not important. I've gone a day or two without watching TV and not even noticed. Haven't I? TV watching is something about which we hear research statistics and theories that tell us our brains are rotting, our relationships are failing, and our debts are climbing all while our televisions are getting bigger and fancier, cable and satellite channels more expensive and God sits outside our homes waiting for an invitation to come inside. I am guilty of this. My husband recently made this statement while we discussed our Lenten sacrifice: "We are going to have a hard time explaining to God someday all the days we watched hours of television but didn't spend any time reading the Bible or in genuine prayer." Hmmm. I think he's right. I have a hard time explaining it now. (Genuine prayer opposed to "Magic Genie" prayer or "gimme" prayer such as "please, God, give me health, give me blessings, give me protection while I speed to work/school/church and let there be a parking spot, in Jesus' name, amen.")
Yesterday was my first day without TV. It was also the day Josiah got his 6 month vaccinations. It was a rough day for the both of us. The injections left him sore which made him cry a lot and all day he wanted to be held. By me. Caring for a fussy baby in pain is exhausting mentally and emotionally. And there that TV sat, my pseudo-companion, whispering to me, "I can entertain you, help you relax, distract the baby from crying." Funny thing is, I never heard God whispering to me during that difficult day. I've tuned my ear to hear the temptations of wasted time, of mind numbing entertainment, of anything that promises to make my day easier. But its been so long since I tuned my ear to hear my true companion, the one who loves me, the one who can actually make my day bearable, happy even. The one who can strengthen me instead of deaden me. Enrich the time I spend with my son instead of drain it of any value or enjoyment.
I didn't watch TV yesterday. I haven't watched it today. I don't want it. I want God.
What is your pseudo-companion?
-Eve
I've never given up TV before. It should be pretty easy to give up, right? It's not important. I've gone a day or two without watching TV and not even noticed. Haven't I? TV watching is something about which we hear research statistics and theories that tell us our brains are rotting, our relationships are failing, and our debts are climbing all while our televisions are getting bigger and fancier, cable and satellite channels more expensive and God sits outside our homes waiting for an invitation to come inside. I am guilty of this. My husband recently made this statement while we discussed our Lenten sacrifice: "We are going to have a hard time explaining to God someday all the days we watched hours of television but didn't spend any time reading the Bible or in genuine prayer." Hmmm. I think he's right. I have a hard time explaining it now. (Genuine prayer opposed to "Magic Genie" prayer or "gimme" prayer such as "please, God, give me health, give me blessings, give me protection while I speed to work/school/church and let there be a parking spot, in Jesus' name, amen.")
Yesterday was my first day without TV. It was also the day Josiah got his 6 month vaccinations. It was a rough day for the both of us. The injections left him sore which made him cry a lot and all day he wanted to be held. By me. Caring for a fussy baby in pain is exhausting mentally and emotionally. And there that TV sat, my pseudo-companion, whispering to me, "I can entertain you, help you relax, distract the baby from crying." Funny thing is, I never heard God whispering to me during that difficult day. I've tuned my ear to hear the temptations of wasted time, of mind numbing entertainment, of anything that promises to make my day easier. But its been so long since I tuned my ear to hear my true companion, the one who loves me, the one who can actually make my day bearable, happy even. The one who can strengthen me instead of deaden me. Enrich the time I spend with my son instead of drain it of any value or enjoyment.
I didn't watch TV yesterday. I haven't watched it today. I don't want it. I want God.
What is your pseudo-companion?
-Eve
The Sound of Melodies
As I sit on my sofa writing this post I hear a majestic thing. The sound of melodies softly drifts down the hallway of our small and wonderful apartment and and gently greets my ears with a calming presence I've scarcely experience before. The sound of brilliant mother soothing her newest love to sleep after a joyous visit from the grandparents. I love this time of day.
New Year. New Blog. Same Life.
Hi all!
Welcome to our new family blog. Check out our old blog if you'd like to get caught up on what has happened in our lives over the last several years. The title of this post pretty much says it all - it's a new year, we've decided to start a new family blog (more accurately, migrate our blogging experience from Wordpress™ to Google's Blogger™), we're the same folks blogging and we'll be blogging on the happenings of our life. Check back often too see what's up and to join us on our journey!
Blessings!
Welcome to our new family blog. Check out our old blog if you'd like to get caught up on what has happened in our lives over the last several years. The title of this post pretty much says it all - it's a new year, we've decided to start a new family blog (more accurately, migrate our blogging experience from Wordpress™ to Google's Blogger™), we're the same folks blogging and we'll be blogging on the happenings of our life. Check back often too see what's up and to join us on our journey!
Blessings!
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